After slogging away at work for most parts of the year, I finally managed to catch this movie during my free time here in Canada.
Now to start off, IMHO, this movie aren't any good, but there was this scene that made me sit up and ponder. It almost felt like reliving the vexing times I experienced with my other half and I'm very sure many couples had gone through the same.
Scene at Home after Dinner
Girl: Can you help me with the dishes?
Guy: I'm tired, why don't you leave it and I'll do it tomorrow morning?
Girl: But I hate to wake up to a filthy kitchen.
Guy: Ok, I'll be with you in a second *picks up joystick and starts PS2*
Girl: *Blaring* I'm dead tired as well! Can't you just show a little appreciation by saying thank you or offer to do the dishes?
Guy: *Stands up and howls* Ok! Fine! I'll do the dishes!
Girl: Forget it! Why can't you just offer to do the dishes in the first place?
Guy: Well, I'm offerring to do the dishes now!
Girl: You are missing the point. I want you to WANT to offer doing the dishes.
Why is communication between men and women so hard?
Why is women obsessed with wanting men to want to do things women really wants?
While I understand that one should be sensitive to each other's needs, sometimes it is difficult to comprehend what women really wants and her underlying message. Men are not mind readers, we can't deduce implied tasks, we need to be told what needs to be done.
The above scenario could have been easily avoided by having the conversation started like this,
Girl: I'm dead tired, can you do the dishes by tonight? Cos I really hate waking up to a filthy kitchen."
I'm not ranting here, its just my thoughts. Please do not start flaming away and kindly share your views.
Now to start off, IMHO, this movie aren't any good, but there was this scene that made me sit up and ponder. It almost felt like reliving the vexing times I experienced with my other half and I'm very sure many couples had gone through the same.
Scene at Home after Dinner
Girl: Can you help me with the dishes?
Guy: I'm tired, why don't you leave it and I'll do it tomorrow morning?
Girl: But I hate to wake up to a filthy kitchen.
Guy: Ok, I'll be with you in a second *picks up joystick and starts PS2*
Girl: *Blaring* I'm dead tired as well! Can't you just show a little appreciation by saying thank you or offer to do the dishes?
Guy: *Stands up and howls* Ok! Fine! I'll do the dishes!
Girl: Forget it! Why can't you just offer to do the dishes in the first place?
Guy: Well, I'm offerring to do the dishes now!
Girl: You are missing the point. I want you to WANT to offer doing the dishes.
Why is communication between men and women so hard?
Why is women obsessed with wanting men to want to do things women really wants?
While I understand that one should be sensitive to each other's needs, sometimes it is difficult to comprehend what women really wants and her underlying message. Men are not mind readers, we can't deduce implied tasks, we need to be told what needs to be done.
The above scenario could have been easily avoided by having the conversation started like this,
Girl: I'm dead tired, can you do the dishes by tonight? Cos I really hate waking up to a filthy kitchen."
I'm not ranting here, its just my thoughts. Please do not start flaming away and kindly share your views.
6 comments:
When I was 16, I read this book by Alain de Botton, called "About Love"
It was a very interesting read and I learnt a lot about male-female communications.
The segment that you shared with us from the movie is what Alain de Botton would call emotional terrorism.
Basically once you get into an argument with a woman about something you didn't do or give....that's it. It's a hostage situation with no win-win outcome.
If you say stand your ground and say "No, I'm not going to give in!" Well we all know that never solves anything.
But if you said "Ok I'll do it." The woman will never be happy because you only did it because she threatened you and that's why you did it. In essence you didn't do it voluntarily and so it cuts no ice anyway!
For a long time I used to wonder how to overcome this problem. Alain de Botton insisted that it was impossible to overcome it.
I have come to realise there is a way around this problem. *wink*
Tell me leh... Dun like dat lah... Plurrrrsee....
^Just do it the first time round la! Is this really a gender-difference thing? Wouldn't men feel just as annoyed if they asked somebody to do something, the person says "Okay" and doesn't do it anyway? I know my boss would LOL
No Veron, that is not the point.
For example wife says to husband "How come you don't buy me flowers anymore?"
Hubby goes out to buy a bunch of flowers for her the next day.
"Aiyah you buy for me because I said why you never buy...."
Sound familiar?
I admit this is a tough one. But I have found a way to overcome this *wink*
Maybe I should write a book. LOL!
Perhaps another example from the film would help express my point of view:
Girl: You never buy me flowers.
Guy: But on our first date, you said that you hated flowers cos its a waste of money.
Girl: Common, all girls love flowers.
Guy: Now, I'm suppose to mind read here?
The point is not about not wanting to do stuff for your other half, its about how to anticipate and know what the lady really wants before she ask for it from you.
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