Farmer is home

After 3 long months away from home, the farmer is finally back.... The heat, humidity and smell of Singapore air never felt so good....

Internet no more

Wah rau! Why must they take away our laptops so early? Its not that I don't have my laptop, but the server here are encrypted and can only serve their own laptops. So bloody irritating.... Now I gotta go two days without internet, what am I gonna do with all the time?

Hhmm, maybe now is a good time to start writing my end-of-course report.

Things you never knew your cellphone could do

The farmer saw this somewhere and thought it might be good to share this....

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: -


1. EMERGENCY: The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112.

If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**


2. OPEN YOUR LOCKED CAR: Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keys?

If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock.

Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors. **Try it, it really works.**


3. HIDDEN BATTERY: Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger.

Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.


4. DISABLE A STOLEN PHONE: How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone? (You probably know this already)

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: # 0 6 #. A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.

When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Wedding Dinners (Part 2)

Contrary to what I wrote yesterday, today is very much about why I love going to friends' wedding dinners.

Well, first of all, chances are that you will be seated with friends you had not met for a long time and catching up with old friends is always a blast. There will always be that geeky outcast who evolves into a stunner, success stories, sad stories, heart warming episodes and many many more small talk.

So, what if you don't get to seat with anyone you know? Its still fun, considering that you will be meeting interesting personalities who share their own prospective of the couple. Who knows? You may find out a little more about the couple, no matter how close you are to them.

Perhaps the most satisfying reason for me to attend friends' weddings is the time that I'll be able to spend with my other half. I know its pathetic, but wedding dinners never fails to create a romantic ambiance and its a perfect excuse for ladies to dress up pretty. You can always turn to your other half and go, "Awww... Aren't that sweet?" Sometimes life is so fast paced that you wish it could slow down a little for you.


I had missed quite a few wedding dinners in recent months due to my stay here in Canada. The most recent was yesterday and the happy couple happened to be my close friends. I believed all of my childhood friends were present and I guess they must had pretty much fun.

From the traditional bickering and bargaining of 'Hong Bao' money at the bride's home. To driving the bridesmaid from one place to another in the day, to helping out to arrange wedding tables for the photo shoot in the evening.


My favourite task is to be the groom's bodyguard or sidekick, taking out all liquors that is pushed towards him. Ensuring the groom does not get drunk, while my vision gets blurred. Making sure the groom is able to stand straight by the doorway to shake the hands of his guests, while I make my way to the toilet bowl.

Wedding Dinners (Part 1)

Wedding dinners can be categorised into 2 types. The first type are your friends and associates' wedding dinners, while the other type is your cousins' weddings. While I always enjoy attending the former, I simply resent going for the latter. Today, I shall blog about the latter.

I could still recall instances where aunties and uncles whom I could vaguely remember just simply came up to me and starts rambling away, "Wah, you now very tall liao hor? Got gf or not? When getting married? Don't be so choosy lah, blah, blah, blah......."

And when I finally got married, I thought that all these nonsense was gonna end.

I was wrong.


The situation has not changed, the irritation and often exhaustive questions are still prevailing, but the context of the questions have changed to, "When are you having kids? Don't wait until late, not good for your wife, you know, blah, blah, blah........"

To make matters worst, instead of having one man to be awkward, we have a couple getting awkward.

In fact, a couple of months back, my wifey had a hilarious experience about having kids. You see, after our wedding, we started to indulged ourselves with fine dining and good food. It was a good break after saving every dollar and cent we had for a year and a half. As a result, my other half put on a little weight.


Scenario at home:

Wifey's mom: Ah Ger ah, nowadays you must be careful, don't anyhow climb up & down ok?

My wifey: Why leh?

Wifey's mom: Aiyah, must be careful you know, wait you fall down how?

My wifey: Fall down like that lor, then how, employ maid meh?

Wifey's mom: We are not talking about the safety of yourself only.

My wifey: Wat talking you? If I fall down, only myself gets.... Wait a min.... you are not thinking I'm pregneant rite?

Wifey's mom: *blushes* He he he, your recent appetite not so good and you put on a little weight mah.


When my wifey shared this with me, I just couldn't stop laughing.... Anybody has the same kindda experience?

Reflections on Canada

Bottle of Budweiser in Canada - CA $3
15 min taxi ride in Canada - CA $20
A simple dinner for 2 in Canada - CA $50
My experience in Canada - Priceless

I did my final presentation today and with that, it concludes my 3 months stay here in Canada. Finally, no more homework over the weekends, I can sleep all I want and get drunk without having to worry about the next day's lessons.

It all seems like a drag in the beginning, but as I got to know my fellow course mates better, the more I appreciate their company. Conversations and discussions were always engaging and entertaining. I had the privilege to listen from interesting diverse points of view. And as I got to know them better, before you know it, its time to head home, time really flies...


27 soldiers, 23 different countries, 5 continents and 1 global village.

South Americans always speak with such strong passion that its always inspiring just to hear them speak.

Africans are peace loving people and always have that desire to learn and share their experiences.

Europeans are extremely fun people and they always have a good joke to share.

Arabs are very warm people and when they say you are his brother, you will be treated like family.

Asians, what can I say, you decide.


Here are some of the things you may not know about:

Bangladesh has the longest stretch of unbroken beach in the world

Benin: If you look closely on the world map, Benin looks like an ice-cream cone

Bosnia's favourite food is cevapi

Botswana has one of the world's leading diamonds industry

Brazil really knows how to samba

Burkina Faso stands for Righteous People

Cameroon has 8 provinces speaking French and only 2 provinces speaking English

Chile is where you reach the end of the world

Estonia boast over 1400 lakes

Ghana was formerly known as Gold Coast due to her abundance of gold

Jordan: Jesus Christ was baptised at Jordan River

Kuwait has a population of slightly less than a million

Macedonia: Alexander the Great is NOT gay

Malawi is the land of peace loving people

Namibia has a meteorite that is now a tourist attraction

Nigeria is the most populous country in Africa with a population of 140 million

Nepal is the only Hindu state in the world

Oman's climate is hot and dry, except for one small spot in the country where it is actually cold

Paraguay has one of the largest dam in the world

Singapore bans chewing gum since 1989

Slovak Republic is also known as Slovakia and Slovenia is another country

Thailand: EPL is everything

Ukraine: Beer is for sissy, Ukraine men drink Vodka

The Break Up

After slogging away at work for most parts of the year, I finally managed to catch this movie during my free time here in Canada.

Now to start off, IMHO, this movie aren't any good, but there was this scene that made me sit up and ponder. It almost felt like reliving the vexing times I experienced with my other half and I'm very sure many couples had gone through the same.


Scene at Home after Dinner

Girl: Can you help me with the dishes?

Guy: I'm tired, why don't you leave it and I'll do it tomorrow morning?

Girl: But I hate to wake up to a filthy kitchen.

Guy: Ok, I'll be with you in a second *picks up joystick and starts PS2*

Girl: *Blaring* I'm dead tired as well! Can't you just show a little appreciation by saying thank you or offer to do the dishes?

Guy: *Stands up and howls* Ok! Fine! I'll do the dishes!

Girl: Forget it! Why can't you just offer to do the dishes in the first place?

Guy: Well, I'm offerring to do the dishes now!

Girl: You are missing the point. I want you to WANT to offer doing the dishes.


Why is communication between men and women so hard?

Why is women obsessed with wanting men to want to do things women really wants?

While I understand that one should be sensitive to each other's needs, sometimes it is difficult to comprehend what women really wants and her underlying message. Men are not mind readers, we can't deduce implied tasks, we need to be told what needs to be done.

The above scenario could have been easily avoided by having the conversation started like this,

Girl: I'm dead tired, can you do the dishes by tonight? Cos I really hate waking up to a filthy kitchen."


I'm not ranting here, its just my thoughts. Please do not start flaming away and kindly share your views.

Farmer is busy yet again....

Farmer is busy with his final assignment to conclude his 3 months of stay in Canada....

As always, if you really have time to spare, here's a rather long, but interesting article to share....

Advice from a 13-Year-Old

Hello, I'm Severn Suzuki speaking for E.C.O. - The Environmental Children's organization. We are a group of twelve and thirteen-year-olds from Canada trying to make a difference: Vanessa Suttie, Morgan Geisler, Michelle Quigg and me.

We raised all the money ourselves to come six thousand miles to tell you adults you must change your ways. Coming here today, I have no hidden agenda. I am fighting for my future. Losing my future is not like losing an election or a few points on the stock market. I am here to speak for all generations to come. I am here to speak on behalf of the starving children around the world whose cries go unheard.

I am here to speak for the countless animals dying across this planet because they have nowhere left to go. We cannot afford to be not heard.I am afraid to go out in the sun now because of the holes in the ozone. I am afraid to breathe the air because I don't know what chemicals are in it. I used to go fishing in Vancouver with my dad until just a few years ago we found the fish full of cancers. And now we hear about animals and plants going extinct every day - vanishing forever.

In my life, I have dreamt of seeing the great herds of wild animals, jungles and rainforests full of birds and butterflies, but now I wonder if they will even exist for my children to see. Did you have to worry about these little things when you were my age? All this is happening before our eyes and yet we act as if we have all the time we want and all the solutions.

I'm only a child and I don't have all the solutions, but I want you to realize, neither do you!
You don't know how to fix the holes in our ozone layer.
You don't know how to bring salmon back up a dead stream.
You don't know how to bring back an animal now extinct.
And you can't bring back forests that once grew where there is now desert.
If you don't know how to fix it, please stop breaking it!

Here, you may be delegates of your governments, business people, organizers , reporters or politicians - but really you are mothers and fathers, brothers and sister, aunts and uncles - and all of you are somebody's child.

I'm only a child yet I know we are all part of a family, five billion strong, in fact, 30 million species strong and we all share the same air, water and soil - borders and governments will never change that. I'm only a child yet I know we are all in this together and should act as one single world towards one single goal. In my anger, I am not blind, and in my fear, I am not afraid to tell the world how I feel.

In my country, we make so much waste, we buy and throw away, buy and throw away, and yet northern countries will not share with the needy. Even when we have more than enough, we are afraid to lose some of our wealth, afraid to share.

In Canada, we live the privileged life, with plenty of food, water and shelter - we have watches, bicycles, computers and television sets. Two days ago here in Brazil, we were shocked when we spent some time with some children living on the streets. And this is what one child told us: "I wish I was rich and if I were, I would give all the street children food, clothes, medicine, shelter and love and affection." If a child on the street who has nothing, is willing to share, why are we who have everything still so greedy? I can't stop thinking that these children are my age, that it makes a tremendous difference where you are born, that I could be one of those children living in the Favellas of Rio; I could be a child starving in Somalia; a victim of war in the Middle East or a beggar in India.

I'm only a child yet I know if all the money spent on war was spent on ending poverty and finding environmental answers, what a wonderful place this earth would be!

At school, even in kindergarten, you teach us to behave in the world. You teach us:
not to fight with others,
to work things out,
to respect others,
to clean up our mess,
not to hurt other creaturesto share - not be greedy

Then why do you go out and do the things you tell us not to do?

Do not forget why you're attending these conferences, who you're doing this for - we are your own children.

You are deciding what kind of world we will grow up in. Parents should be able to comfort their children by saying "everything's going to be alright', "we're doing the best we can" and "it's not the end of the world". But I don't think you can say that to us anymore. Are we even on your list of priorities? My father always says "You are what you do, not what you say." Well, what you do makes me cry at night. you grown ups say you love us. I challenge you, please make your actions reflect your words.

Thank you for listening.

-----------------------------------------------

For those who doubt if this article is true, especially Dr Oz bloke, you can find this article here complete with comments from various walks of life.

This 13 year old quite fierce sia. I wonder if our big brother will spank him silly if this child ever speaks with such gusto in our bright red dot?

Secret to beautiful skin, I swallow.

Before your mind starts running wild in sexcitement, allow me to qualify that I'm neither affiliated nor a fervent admirer of the infamous blogger with the initials S.S.

More importantly, my skin is not beautiful and I don't *swallow* to maintain my looks. I know my recent posts have been focusing too much on sexcitement, but I couldn't help it and almost fell off my chair when I saw the following photo in my mailbox....


I have been home away from home for 3 months now, maybe the above had been going on around for some time, but has Zoe Tay turned porn*star? I don't mean to ridicule our very own Queen of Caldecott Hill, but is the Queen truly over the hill? Didn't she read the fine print before committing to the shoot?

This is advertising at its very worst. Not only is it tasteless, but it also invites disturbing thoughts with that slogan. How can one not have *fuzzy* thoughts when you have Zoe Tay lying down on quilts, wearing a low cut cleavage showing lingerie, with dreamy eyes and a half opened closed mouth, providing on-lookers with an almost surreal feeling, then comes an impactful statement.... I swallow....

Wah rau eh!... Please lah, can have some class a not? Maybe its just my mind playing tricks on me, what do you think?

A very happy farmer

Monday morning...

The most dreaded day of the week, but somehow today turns out to be the most happy Monday ever for me. The first thing I saw when I stepped out of the barracks was this....


OMG... Puddles of water are starting to freeze, looks like its going to snow in the next couple of days. I didn't have to wait long, by mid day, the weather had changed....


So shiok! I managed to see snow on my last trip to Gagetown, but this is the first time I see snowflakes floating down the sky!!! Only one word can describe this feeling.... Magical.... I went on to build my very first snowman....


Best part of the day was receiving confirmation on my return flight itinerary....


Heng man! No need to transit at Taipei. Otherwise, I would have wasted another 5 hours waiting in transit. Its been a long wait since I started counting down 2 months ago. Farmer is indeed a very happy man today.

Change in Nick

In order not to confuse you readers any further. I shall no longer be known as 'Ed' or 'Ed***' or 'kakiberet'. From today onwards, it would simply be 'farmer'.

Cultural Differences

"Here, take this pack of condoms and use it. Don't get drunk and bring back unwanted diseases to me."

Would your spouse or girlfriend say that before you embark on yet another overseas business trip? Does that means she doesn't trust you? Or its just a show of affection and she cares about you? Are there any underlying messages or hints of contempt?

That was the topic of discussion amongst the lads last night. Living together with people of such diverse backgrounds and cultures for 3 months, sure brings up plenty of controversial view points worthy of analysis. Sometimes, it almost felt like living in a world village.

The opening sentence was what X's wife said to him before he came to Canada and we were going like "Wow! Your other half is so understanding...." While all most men would marvel him for having such a wonderful and understanding wife. I thought otherwise....

As an Asian and above all, Singaporean, my upbringing was much more conservative. My initial thoughts was that his wife had lost the trust between them and had to resort to such methods to protect herself and their family. How can there be love when there is no trust? IMHO, a relationship is based on 2 elements, Trust and Communication. Both factors work hand in hand and can do no good if one is missing from the another. If there's no trust, the relationship is doomed for failure...

My Arab friends provided a rather harsh viewpoint. For their spouse to even suggest the above mentioned, is a show of disrespect and their other half will be subjected to a tirade of disdain. Men go out to work, in order to bring home the bread. Not go out to fool around, in order to bring home plagues.

X together with his European counterpart rallied together and opined against our views. They rationalised that this practise is common in Euro countries. It is not about your other half not being able to trust you or anything of sorts. It is about the concern the ladies have for their other half, should their other half gets too tipsy and makes a mistake. The least the guys can do is not bring any diseases home. However, this does not meant that all guys should just go out and get laid. This is after all a safety precaution.

What about you? Do you have any thoughts to share about this subject?

I know its good to try new ways of doing it, but...

I had always used it since I started, and had dreaded the very day when I would be forced not to. Sure, I know I should always try with new methods. But it just feels so much safer to go with it, you know? I want that extra.... security. I just wanted to get things done. I don’t want to worry about something else when I'm doing it....

Besides, I never heard any complaints about it lately. They kept saying it would be so much cost efficient if everybody stopped using it. So I knew it’s inevitable that some day, I would have to stop using it. My only wish was that the days before then would be prolonged for as much as possible.

When an unsuspecting-looking mail popped up recently, i knew that those days had come to an end.

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Okay, before you start flaming away, I would like to qualify that the above sex-orientated intro is INDEED shamelessly modelled after Veron's recent entry. I thought to myself, since SEX does really sells, why don't I try it myself? Maybe I'll be able to beat Veron's pongs in Ping.sg

Anyway, back to the subject proper, since 2005, Mindef had taken steps to introduce OpenOffice.org as an alternative to Microsoft Office. The key thrust was to reduce cost as OpenOffice is freeware. The OpenOffice seeks to replace MS Office for basic users, less users with specific work requirements that requires MS Office. With most users within the Mindef structure requiring only the basic function of word, excel and powerpoint applications, the move seems brilliant.

However, there are some inconveniences and getting used to using OpenOffice, in particular the Writer and Impress.


The Writer works pretty much the same as MS Word, the only problem is it has no Thesaurus. Which turns out to be a major handicap for someone like me who does not possess a good command of the Engligh language.


One feature I liked about the Impress is the file size it compresses into, can't quite remember the file type right now. But I do recall working on my powerpoint slides on MS Ppt and converting them into Impress. I always notice somehow Impress uses one quarter of the original file saved by MS Ppt.

On the other hand, Impress is no MS Ppt, it is definitely not as user-friendly and requires much more effort to do simple tasks in MS Ppt. In addition, it seems unstable at times and hangs up on me on quite a number of occasions.

To conclude, for someone who was introduced to office applications via MS Office. To adapt to OpenOffice is as good as asking someone to change his OS from Windows to a Mac.

Nonetheless, the above inconvenience can be resolved with more practise and getting used to. After all, this is a fantastic initiative to save tons of $$$ and its great value for money at no cost.